Misfit, freak that’s on the street. Now I can see the sorrow in your eyes

Happy Christmas 1984! Just found some information of historical interest in the back of my 1984 diary.

I spent £5.99 on Brun’s gift, a record and “buffet ticket”. Eh?! Was he a big fan of going to buffets by himself at the age of 19, or did I just sense that he would love the original gift? No idea. Most was spent on mum (£10.67) spent primarily on booze and chocs. A belated thanks Carolyn for my Shakatak and Freez records and the height chart from Sally. Brun got me a Second Image single. Nice.


It seems I got Helen some Um Bongo. Seriously. I wrote it down twice.

Way down deep in the middle of the Congo,
A hippo took an apricot, a guava and a mango.
He stuck it with the others, and he danced a dainty tango.
The rhino said, “I know, we’ll call it Um Bongo”
Um Bongo, Um Bongo, They drink it in the Congo.
The python picked the passion fruit, the marmoset the mandarin.
The parrot painted packets, that the whole caboodle landed in.
So when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle,
They all prefer the sunny funny one they call Um Bongo!

Amongst the gifts I received from my mum and dad I got either a selection box or a sedation box. My writing was bad then so I hope it was the former. Someone called Andrew got me gin. Who was Andrew and was he trying to get me drunk?

I am still clearing out lots of stuff which is why I am looking at old diaries. The dilemma – for the journal diaries, which I can barely read, but which I know are full of student / young adult angst and heartache, do I keep or burn? I will never read them but I spent so much time writing them (apparently in code).

My calendar type diaries are more useful and I am recording main stuff I did on a cool app called Diaro. You can tag mates, locations and categorise what you did. I am in anally retentive Heaven.

I am doing it in no particular order chronologically. Today I was reminded of an NME Poll Awards gig at the Astoria on 25th January 1994. Headlined by the Manics, the bill was completed by Curve, Sultans of Ping FC and Pulp. Wait a minute, where’s me jumper?


On 18 August 1986 I wrote in my calendar “start of diet”. Over 31 years later I can honestly say the diet has not been a success.

October 1986 and off I went on an intensive management course before the start of my 3rd year at uni. Who did I get drunk with (who said I should be a management consultant like him)? None other than Rob Andrew, England rugby union star. He was a right laugh but meant nothing to me as I didn’t do rugby at all then.


Now in my last blog I discussed ‘famous’ pop figures I / others had met. Damon tells me this week that he did a karaoke duet with Kirk Brandon (Theatre of Hate / Spear of Destiny / Boy George gossip) of ‘Sweet Caroline’. “Other guests included Steve Strange from Visage, who another mate thought must be a gate crashing smack head”. Poptastic.

I finally started to watch Misfits as recommended to me by Bob Junior (male). Highly recommend if you like watching stuff about people on community service / bizarre superpowers / orange outfits. I think there are about 5 or 6 seasons so plenty to catch up on. Bob endorses.


I also watched – finally – Spectre last night, The James Bond film. I loved Skyfall but this was dull. Don’t waste time on it. Nitwits.

Back to TV series. Now I loooooove The Walking Dead but Fear the Walking Dead??? FtWD started brightly but season 2 seemed to consist primarily of a boat cruise with very occasional encounters with uninfected and / or zombie critters. Waste of time. I assume they bought a boat and had to make good use of it as there was no other budget left. The next season improved as it was in Mexico and I like Mexico. I like the food and I liked the Arsenal footballer Vela.

Other than TWD and obvs GoT, my fave show is Vikings which started on the History Channel. Great story and v gory violence, and amazingly based on facts / myth a great deal. I never knew the Vikings attacked (and ransacked) Paris for example, or that they settled in northern France and married into the bloodline there thus creating the Normans. 1066? Viking invasion mate.


I spent a while watching Benidorm from the start. Sorry sorry sorry but it has got worse and worse. Some of it was amusing but it has made me realise I won’t watch the new series, even with the Chuckle Brothers. Cilla Black the swinger was amusing though.


The Mystery of the Missing Ear Plug.

Amongst my stupid ailments, I wear a mask at night. Not for a perverted thrill but to make sure I am breathing still as I am – please, hold back your tears – a sleep apnoea dude. Now my latest mask makes a right racket inside the mask so it disturbs me but not Mrs Bob. Brainwave, ear plugs. Perfect. This morning though one of these bright orange spongy beauties had fallen out. Tried looking for it but no joy.

Panic over though as I spotted a glimpse of orange later. Inside the mouth of Max. For him, an ear waxed flavoured eternal gobstopper; for me, the cost of a new pair and the bribe of cheese to get him to open his tightly clamped teeth. Bad dog.


Talking food, I had a great rollmop herring salad yesterday. Have I told you this already? I don’t care. Just look at the pic of my salad. Lovely. Andy also came to the fishmongers but his choice of whelks and jellied eels would not have been mine.


That’s right, there are artichoke hearts on my plate. Which links neatly with news that Pigeon Drumstick’s smash debut album ‘A suggestion of artichokes’ is to be followed up shortly. Watch this space.

I think I have covered everything topical that needs to go in a blog – food, drink, music, TV & sport. Let’s finish with an 80s music question.

Who is this a picture of? They had one hit. My clue is ‘Boo Hoo’.




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